How wonderful to be back in the blogosphere! I've been gone too long (says no one who actually reads my blog!) and while I have considered writing lately, I've been sick so haven't had the energy. In reality, I've felt physically unwell AND sorry for myself, so this combined with trips to the hospital, doctor visits and a disrupted sleep cycle, well, whatever. I finally reached out to my family and friends on Facebook asking for prayers, and let me remind you that GOD is AWESOME because He has heard and He has answered.
While I can't profess to know the mind of GOD, He, like most of you, got sick of my whining and decided to show me that IT CAN ALWAYS BE WORSE. Kind of like when your momma and daddy tell you "Keep that up, I'mma give you something to cry about". Today, at least, I am jolted out of my self pity and admit that there is someone waaaay worse off than me.
HLN Morning Express is my morning go-to news show. This morning, they shared the story of Alabama teenager Darby Risner who, on finding the head of a Barney the Dinosaur costume, decided to put it on and prank her friends. Darby, who could be described as 'not much bigger than a minute', put the costume Barney head on, and it promptly slid down over her head and shoulders, pinning her arms at the elbows, where it got stuck, trapping the hapless teen like some sort of goofy T rex with a giant head and useless, stumpy arms. (So no push ups, playing poker, or picking up the check!)
Once her friends and all the parents realized that Darby was caught up in the raptor (I couldn't resist!), they posted pictures on facebook and instagram, looking for help, I'm sure. Then they called the fire department for help. Said Darby's momma, "We asked them not to turn on the sye-reens, but they said it's protocol, so we had to throw her in the truck and drive there since that big-ass head wouldn't fit in the Buick." Ok, That's a lie, I don't know if her momma that, and I'm sure the fire department just WANTED to use the sye-reens. I mean, who wouldn't?
Once at the fire department, fire fighters tried to control their laughter while also trying to remove the head. According to New York Magazine (Oh Darby, you are FAMOUS!!!), "This also didn’t work, but the fireman would later describe her as 'a greased pig.' Which is what every teenage girl hopes to hear." Ok, not for nothing, but this DID happen in the South, so we know a lot about greased pigs. Maybe that would be an insult in New York, but it's not the worst thing you could call a Southerner. Try calling us 'rude' or 'inhospitable'. That hurts! Whatever, but I think this could really only happen in the South. I doubt anyone at New York Magazine would get 'a stoopid Bawnee mask' stuck on their head, but below the Mason Dixon line, we wrestle pigs, get stuck in dinosaur heads, and all sorts of other stuff. I know that today, I speak for my fellow Southerners in Florida when I say, 'thank you, Alabama!"
Having been freed from what New York Magazine called "her Cretaceous Period prison",
(Really, New York? WTH?), Darby posed for pictures with friends and firefighters, she went on to say that she has also gotten stuck in a bus lavatory and a baby swing, and she hopes this hasn't hurt her chances to become her school's sports mascot. Talk about ignoring the signs, but hey, think positive. I know this incident will help Darby get ahead!
