Friday, February 8, 2008

Quit Kissing Those Babies and Give Them the Vote!

Well hey there, y’all! This election has just got me in an uproar. I must admit that I am not as “up” on politics and elections as I should be. I have never been one of those amazing activists who get out there and fire people up and enact change. I always wanted to be, but on my own terms, y’know? For instance, I wouldn’t want to chain myself to a tree or some fence at a waste site (ick!) but I would chain myself to a bottle of Kendall Jackson or a Talbot’s boutique that carries petites! So I guess it’s okay. We all have to do what we can.

Granted, I have been following the election to some extent, because I am so thrilled at the thought of a new administration and a new president. This last eight years have been an eternity. That whole ‘rah, rah, we’re winning the war on terror and new-cyuh-ler (nuclear) rhetoric is making me gag. However, I am very glad to see that Jenda, at her tender young age of three, seems to really be taking an interest in this. In fact, I am learning a great deal from her. My hope is that she will become the activist and change agent that I was supposed to be, oh, and learn to clean up her own room. But anyway….

Jenda has watched some of the election news and the returns with me and Jerry and she has quite a bit to say on some of the issues facing the US at this time of mud-slinging, baby-kissing, and vote getting. Here are some of Jenda’s nuggets of political wisdom. I am sharing them with you in the hopes that you will be inspired to do something great for your country. I’m going to do something great, too. Right after I finish this glass of merlot. Anyway….

Jenda was watching the primaries with us. Jerry and I tried to keep count of who had what and who came out ahead in each state. Jenda, of course, had lots of questions and something to say about all of the candidates.

About the whole primary election process,“Mommy, what’s a SOOPER delget?”

That’s Super Delegate. Every state has delegates. Some of them are super. They go to political rallies and say stuff like, “I double-dog-dare you to vote for my candidate!” And the delegators are people who are too lazy to drive to the polls, so they get someone else to cast their vote for them. No use sitting in that traffic.

About Hillary, “Do we like her?”

Yes, we really like her.

“I love her dress. She needs to get her hair did.” (OUCH!)

About McCain, “He’s a butt.” Ditto Huckabee. (I swear, y’all, she is deciding this for herself!)

About George W’s last (thank God!) State of the Union address, “He’s icky, Mommy. And global warming is bad for the planet. We hafta save the planet, or a big meteor can come and hit us like a giant rock, and we all have to turn on the air-conditioner and open all the doors and windows to cool off the planet so it won’t be too warm and then we can save the planet.”

(Y’all, she was spot on with McCain, Huckabee, and W, so the save the planet using our air-conditioners doesn’t seem like a half bad idea. I can’t wait to see how she saves Darfur! Outta the mouths of babes!)

Lately, she began using some new word that I couldn’t quite make out. She always comes up with exotic ‘almost four years old’ words, because we all know that children have their own language. But this one almost seemed familiar. One night, after she chanted it over and over and over (as kids will do!), Jerry apparently deciphered it and began cackling!


Where the devil did she get that? And what does it mean? Did someone from the Republican party call my house (if so, put me on your DO NOT CALL list!) and say bad things about Barack Obama? Or maybe Jenda thinks Obama is a Republican?! So I had to ask…
Jenda, do you think Barack Obama is a butt?

“No, Mommy. I’m looking at his butt!”

Naturally, I had to look for myself, and I must say, it is a rather nice butt, as rear ends go. So I feel relatively safe in my assumption (no pun intended!) that Jenda will be a Democrat and she appreciates a nice rump. Score two for Mommy!

I hope you don’t misunderstand my meaning. This is not so much a message of division, rather, it’s purpose is twofold. First, whatever your political leanings, get out there and vote, and know what issues are important to you so that you make an educated vote. And if you’re still not clear on the educated vote part, do what I did and take a lesson from a three-year-old. Here’s the list so far…and pay extra special attention if you’re actually running for office!

Wear nice clothes, but make sure you get your hair did!

Take a stand on environmental issues, because global warming is bad, and a meteor could hit (and on that note, be sure you always wear nice underwear just in case…like my momma always said!)

Don’t be icky!

It helps if you (the candidate) have a nice butt!

So there you have it, friends. Let’s take a cue from a child and get out there and do our civic duty.

I am Jenda’s mother, and I approve this message!