Sunday, May 27, 2007

There's More Than One Kind of Funk In Here!

Well hey there y’all! Geeze, the things you learn when your child finally takes a nap and you can watch the news. My stars! I had NO IDEA things were so interesting in this country. Lemme tellya how I got the shock of my life watching CNN the other day.

Okay, I know everyone is consumed with the whole Anna Nicole Smith baby-momma-drama (or daddy, in this case!) Jerry and I have watched this unfold with alarm. Not just for her baby and all this legal drama but the fact that she died, like, how many weeks ago and she is still not buried? Folks, that’s just damn creepy. But that isn’t even the most shocking part. I saw on the news today that JAMES BROWN is still not buried!


He died, what, sometime last year? Sick, really sick! Is our culture so celebrity crazed that we can’t let go, even after death (and certain decay and decomposition?) Sing with me folks, to the tune of “I Feel Good”….

Don’t smell good
I’m stiffer than wood
Don’t smell nice
Formaldehyde spice

It’s rank… I’m stank

I have to tell you, I’m pretty sure this is not how celebrities want to be remembered. I mean, I cleaned out the refrigerator the other day and some good chicken had gone bad. I got a whiff of that and started thinking ‘Trim Spa’. It’s not good.

Of course the other interesting and really creepy thing in the news is the launch by Krispy Kreme of their new…


‘Scuse me, what’n HAYULL is the point? You don’t go to Krispy Kreme to eat healthy! (If you do, you’re probably the kind of sicko-fiend that would die and stay above ground for the next several weeks!) Anyway, health experts have already jumped all over this and are quick to point out that these donuts have only 20 less calories and one less gram of fat than the regular ones, so again?

The point?

Which gets me to thinking….

No one in their right mind is gonna buy those damn fool donuts. I think they should take James Brown and Anna Nicole Smith to a landfill somewhere and cover them up with all of those unsold donuts. The preservatives in the donuts will slow down, well, you know, and it pretty much solves all their problems.

Sounds like the makings of ‘A Funky Good Time’ to me!

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